Coercive Control

Safety Plan

Key Steps

Jessica Hill suggests a structured safety plan broken into phases. It can be adapted to any person’s circumstances, level of risk, or parenting situation.

1. Understanding Your Risk

Before planning, it’s helpful (and safer) to understand:

  • What triggers escalation? (e.g., arguments, jealousy, alcohol, financial stress)

  • What behaviours signal the abuser is becoming volatile?

  • What times or situations are most dangerous?

  • Is technology being monitored?

This helps identify danger points and the safest times/actions.

4. Prepare Essential Documents & Items

Keep these somewhere safe and accessible, if possible:

  • ID (driver’s licence, passport, Medicare)

  • Birth certificates for you/children

  • Bank cards, Centrelink details

  • Car keys, spare house key

  • Medications

  • A few days’ clothes

  • Important personal items (USB, photos, school info)

Store:

  • With a trusted friend

  • In your workplace drawer

  • In a sealed envelope at your GP practice (some will do this)

  • In a disguised bag in the home

  • Digitally (scanned to a safe email)

7. During an Incident

If violence is escalating:

  • Move to low-risk areas: rooms with exits, without weapons (avoid kitchen, garage).

  • Keep your phone charged and within reach.

  • Use your safe word if needed.

  • Call 000 if you’re in immediate danger.

  • If you must leave suddenly, don’t stop to collect items.

2. Secure Your Devices & Information

  • Create a new safe email account for planning and support communication.

  • Use a safe phone if your current device is monitored.

If you’re unsure whether tech is being used to monitor you, assume yes.

5. Emergency Bag ("Go Bag")

If possible, pack:

  • Essentials for 48 hours

  • Prepaid mobile or a secondary phone

  • Cash (if possible)

  • Chargers

  • Spare glasses

  • Items for children

  • Pet essentials (if leaving with pets)

Hide it in a place the abuser will not look — or keep it off-site.

8. Evidence Collection (Only if Safe)

Use:

  • Empower You app (NSW Police)

  • A safe email account

  • A secret notebook

  • Photos, screenshots, recordings (if lawful and safe)

  • Journaling dates/times/events

Evidence supports AVO applications, police reports, and long-term safety planning.

3. Build a Safe Contacts Network

Identify three trusted people:

  • Someone you can call in an emergency

  • Someone who can keep spare essentials for you

  • Someone who can check in regularly (text, call, code word)

Agree on:

  • A safe word that means “I need help”

  • A check-in schedule (e.g. 7pm daily text)

6. Plan How You Will Leave

Think through:

  • The safest door/exits

  • Where you will go if you need to leave suddenly

  • What transport option is safest (car keys accessible? someone picking you up?)

  • What time of day the abuser is least likely to notice

  • Who you can call immediately (friend, helpline, police)

If there are kids:

  • Agree a story/explanation that doesn’t make them unsafe (e.g. “We’re going to get ice cream”).

  • Teach them:

    • How to dial 000

    • A safe place in the house to go during violence

    • That their job is not to intervene

9. After Leaving – Securing Safety

Once you’ve left:

  • Change passwords, lock down tech, reset devices.

  • Change school pick-up arrangements if you have children.

  • Apply for an AVO if you wish (with police support, if that’s possible).

  • Ask your GP to document injuries and emotional health impacts.

  • Contact Victims Services NSW for counselling, safety upgrades, financial support.

  • Try to ensure your new location is not shared publicly (e.g. school, Medicare, MyGov, social media).

  • If you need to be accommodated in refuge, don’t be afraid! Many are quite lovely, and will help to both protect you and sort out your admin needs. You can call the NSW Domestic Violence Crisis Line on 1800 65 64 63 or NSW Link2Home Crisis Accommodation and
    Referrals 1800 152 152.